One of my least favorite things about parenting is “the talk.” You know which one I mean.
When Andrew was in 3rd grade he came home one day very upset. He said everyone in his class knew what “sex” was except him, and he demanded information. I did what any good mother would do: I called my husband and demanded he come home immediately. His job being full time, unfortunately, necessitated that he stay longer (in this case I think he stayed at work until midnight).
So I was left to the dreaded task — to have the sex talk with my oldest son. And I did so, explaining it in as simple terms as possible and reassuring him that it was not “gross,” at least not most of the time.
But it’s funny, because here we are 2 years later, and he still has questions. It makes sense, as he has only gotten a very limited idea of what’s involved, and everynone talks about it so there must be more to it than just “when a man and a woman really love each other…”
So the other night, we were debating whether to watch a certain movie on DVD. Andrew was reading the description on the back of the cover and Larry and I were trying to decide whether it was appropriate. Then he read the rating: PG-13 for Strong Sexual Content. Andrew looked up hopefully. “Strong Sexual Content! I would LIKE to see some Strong Sexual Content!”
There was something so innocent and uninhibited about that — he has not yet started to hide his true feelings from us, which I love, and he is not afraid to say that he wants to learn more.
But I don’t want him to learn by seeing it in an inappropriate movie!
I guess it’s time for another talk. Larry, it’s your turn.
So speaking as someone who was on the other side of that talk not too terribly long ago, know that whatever you don’t tell your son, he will learn anyways from his friends.
By the time I had The Talk with my parents, I already knew far more than they told me. You learn the most amazing things at school.
Actually, the very first time I remember having ‘the talk’ with son Brian, he was in first grade and I overheard him tell a friend he had seen Mom and Dad ‘humping’ in the kitchen.
YIKES!
I knew it was time for an early version. Turns out a friend had told him that ‘humping’ is another word for kissing.
In my son’s teen years, the talk was less about explaining how things work and more about the opportunity to talk about responsible behavior and the possible dire consequences of irresponsible behavior.
Happy journeys, Nina. I still love being a ‘Mommy’ and my kids are 22 and 25!