momAgenda Blog

Making Peace With Imperfection

February 23, 2010 12:48 PM

One of the hardest things about being a mom is wanting to be perfect for our children. There is something about this generation of moms, we hold ourselves to an extremely high standard and we berate ourselves incessantly if we deliver anything less than perfection on a daily basis. One of the many blessings for me about going back to work was finally coming to terms with the idea that it was really impossible for me to do all the things I thought I "should" do, and that I needed to come to terms with being good enough rather than perfect as a mom.
Here's an example. Once upon a time I was obsessed with making sure that the lunches I packed for the kids were filled with healthy, nutritionally balanced meals and snacks. I thought that allowing them to buy lunch in the cafeteria was basically tantamount to child neglect. Thank goodness my attitude has evolved since those days. Yes, when I pack lunch for my kids, I try to make it healthy and satisfying. But honestly, if one of the kids says he/she wants to buy lunch today, I say, "fine." I no longer fight that fight. Because really, does it matter that much? It gives me a break from packing lunch and it makes the kids feel independent. It's a small and insignificant example, because parenting is about so much more than just packing lunch, but it illustrates the larger point of relaxing our standards and being ok with that.
I know I am not the perfect mom in any way, and I am not even trying anymore. Not only because I know it is an impossible standard to reach, but also because I am a happier mom--and I have happier kids--now that I am going easier on myself.
What about you? Have you made peace with being imperfect?

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