momAgenda Blog

Dealing With A Little Rebel

August 23, 2010 3:24 PM

This weekend, I was fortunate enough to spend time with a close friend whose kids are the same ages as my two younger kids (10 and 7). She mentioned a few issues she was having with one of her kids; specifically, the child is an adorable little rebel who wants to do what he wants to do. He resists any type of structure that is enforced, such as bed time routines, time limits on screens, etc.
Now, the first thing I did was to point out that this child CLEARLY takes after his dad, who is at 38 still one of my favorite rebels in the whole world. I mean, we can all appreciate that a rebellious child is quite possibly going to grow into an adult who marches to his own beat in the best possible way. And if he decides to learn guitar, and join a band, well, the girls are REALLY going to dig him....
But I digress. At age 7, he really needs to be able to conform to a few restrictions in order to live in peace and harmony with his family. My advice to my friend applies not just to this situation, but to many others as well: PRIORITIZE.
In other words, decide what's really important, and then let everything else go. For example, make the rules that pertain to safety and health the ones that really matter. And consider giving a little more leeway on the ones that are not going to directly impact your child's health or safety.
As it pertains to her child, it might look like this: He must brush his teeth every day, but maybe the rules can be loosened with regard to computer time. Or, she could enforce an 8pm bedtime every night, but then give him one night per week to stay up an hour later.
Giving kids the feeling that they have just a tiny bit of control goes a long way toward getting them to play by the rules.

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