momAgenda Blog

The One About My Teenagers

August 19, 2010 2:16 PM

The scene: My family room. Sitting on the couch with Andrew, age 14, and Jenna, age 12.

Jenna: Can I go to the movies with Caroline tonight? We really want to see Vampires Suck.

Me: You can't go tonight, but maybe we can all go together this weekend! I really want to see that movie too.

Andrew and Jenna: (eyes roll) Mom!

Me: What? What's the matter? You don't want to go to the movies with me?

Andrew: Mom, we are teenagers! It is social suicide to be seen at the movies with your mom!

Me: Really? It can't be that bad. I am not that embarrassing. Ok, tell me the truth. What would be worse: going to the movies with me, or eating a spider?

Jenna: (Pauses for a moment.) Would the spider be cooked?

Andrew: Spiders don't freak me out much, so....

Me: ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?

Jenna: .... if it was caramelized, maybe it would taste sort of good, because everything tastes good when it's caramelized.... or even if it was lightly sauteed....

Me: That's it. They are officially teenagers.