Last night at a dinner party, I had the pleasure of chatting with a lovely mom of 4 kids, who recently relocated here from Chile. She told me that she attended a parenting event here in Fairfield County, CT recently, and went home completely demoralized. The topic was “Reading to Your Children” and the speaker basically stated that if you are not reading to your child “properly” — that is, reading slowly, asking questions about the content, and frequently checking your child’s comprehension — you might as well not be reading at all.
We live in a culture where, when it comes to parenting, anything short of perfection is judged as simply not good enough. Talking to my new friend, I felt a little embarrassed and tried to convince her that we are not ALL like that. I, for example, barely squeeze in story time with my 7 year old. And I certainly am not asking him questions about his understanding of the text — I mean, I have 3 other kids to put to bed! Seriously, if that makes me less of a good mom, I will accept that.
If we listened to all the so-called “experts” we would all be making homemade organic baby food from local fruits and vegetables, dressing our kids in organic cotton rompers, breastfeeding exclusively until the first day of preschool, none of us would even own televisions, there would be no plastic whatsoever in any of our homes, and we would be teaching our children their first foreign language starting at age 1, when the brain is optimized to learn language skills. And yes, we would be reading and asking questions every night. In reality, I do none of these things, and I have learned to tune out the experts and their (often stupid) advice.
I hope that as moms we can move in a direction that is more open and accepting, and less judgmental of others’ parenting styles. When it comes down to it, with very few exceptions, we all love our kids, and we are all doing the best we can to raise them the best way we know how: with love.
I totally agree with you. Every mom and family has to pick and choose what works for their family, regardless of what “experts” say.
And I firmly believe that any reading you do with your child is good reading, both from the standpoint of raising a reader and for the time you are spending together.
Great post! I feel the same way. It’s so hard to be a mom these days, and with pressure from society, it’s even harder! I read to my kids (most) every night, and look at it as a fun way to spend time with them, not a learning experience.
Well said! I often catch myself reminding friends or family who read some article in some magazine, about how we should be doing something “like this” that the only reason they print that crap is to fill in the spaces between the ad’s.
As long as your kids feel safe, secure, loved and their needs are being met. You’re doing an awesome job!!
Well said!
i’ve been reading this post over the last few days, and it’s gotten me more and more upset.
I am a working mother of 3, I see my children for 45minutes in the morning and 1,5hrs at night.
I read my 3,5yr a story every night, and quite frankly I let him set the pace. If he’s alert, we’ll speak about the story and all the various charachetrs. Sometimes, he is just content to hear the sound of my voice as he falls asleep next to me. My son is happy, and so am I.
And frankly, I don’t think that every second of a kid’s life needs to be educational. sometimes things just need to be easy…for them and for us…!
Aré you going to fix the days in the Agenda? They aré one day off.
Hey – I am really glad to find this. Good job!