Before I became a busy working mom, I was calm and serene. People commented on it all the time; it was one of my best qualities. I remember those days and how feeling peaceful was simply my natural, default state.
And then, I had kids.
All of a sudden, there were all these new demands on me. Not just from my baby, but from my husband, my job, my family, my friends, society, and of course, myself. Life was busy and chaotic and hectic and so was my state of mind.
All of a sudden I felt like I was letting everyone down, from my baby to my clients to all the people who thought I should breastfeed for longer.
I didn’t like feeling like I was failing all the time, so I decided I had to make some major changes in my life. This nagging feeling I was failing all the time, or what I like to call “Busy mom syndrome,” was robbing me of my happiness.
I’m back to my calm, peaceful place (for now), and I’m grateful for it. But it’s a daily practice, and not something that happens by default anymore. But it’s so worth the effort.
Here are the things I let go of in order to ditch “busy mom syndrome” and feel more peaceful in my life:
I Let Go Of Perfectionism
I’m a typical first child, driven, ambitious, hyper-responsible. And it was easy to be that way before kids. But after kids, I had to let go of my need to be perfect. I became acquainted with the phrase “good enough” and started using it every day, and eventually I realized that good enough really was enough.
I Let Go Of The Need to Please
There was a time in my life when other people’s opinions of me were extremely important to my sense of self-worth. I didn’t feel successful unless I had been explicitly validated by the outside world. I had to let go of that and realize the only validation I need is my own.
I Let Go Of Being Hard On Myself
Like many women, I have a tendency to be my own worst critic, berating myself with harsh judgments. With practice, I’ve learned to recognize my thoughts about myself for what they are – simply thoughts, nothing more. And when I realized they were just thoughts, I realized I could just observe them and then let them go. And what’s left when those thoughts are gone is simply peace.
I Let Go Of Trying to be Someone I’m Not
When I was first married with kids, I had an image in my mind of who I was supposed to be. Over time, I let go of that image and started to accept myself for who I am. And I discovered that I love myself and I love my life so much more when I’m being authentic and true to myself.
What about you? Let me know in the comments what you’ve had to let go of in order to feel peaceful in your life.